The loneliest place in the world can be when you are in a dysfunctional relationship. The person you so wish to understand you does not. Or it may be that within your relationship there is love and anger and kindness and hostility; love and affairs; fun and destruction. Conflict in relationships is probably one of the most all-consuming pains a person can experience. We humans do not do very well when faced with ambivalence – conflicting feelings for a significant other.
It depends on where each person in the relationship is as to how we approach our work. Our first step would be to create an agreed safe place and allow each person to speak, uninterrupted and more importantly be heard. This may seem straightforward but it may surprise you that most people accessing relationship therapy only “think” they know their partner’s anguish, needs, wants and likes. Of course, we also need to establish safety if there is a history of abuse.
A helpful description as to what takes place in relationship therapy is exploring what does not work and finding a way that does. There are very few commonalities when working with relationships as each relationship involves the complexities of each person involved. We do however subscribe to some very helpful techniques and methods to help get you moving and working towards resolution or, if you have reached a stage of irreconcilable difference, we can work toward a healthy closure for you. In mediation to close relationships we also work on the impact of the whole family unit where children, pets or parents and significant others are concerned.
If both partners are not ready or able to access help we are more than able and willing to work with just the one that is. There is much that can be accomplished in relationship therapy when it is just one of you that accesses help.
A relationship that has issues often mimics a snowball, gathering momentum so much along with time that the original issue that caused a “shift” in the relationship gets buried underneath all the turmoil and stress of it all. Sex can become difficult or become absent, self-worth can be challenged. Substance misuse can crawl in to help alleviate the pain as can affairs as an outside attempt at resolution to personal feelings of emptiness and fragility. Whatever your relationship situation, it is so important for your ongoing wellbeing to access help and consider your options.
Getting in touch to discuss your relationship may feel like a betrayal but ignoring it will certainly, over time, cause more harm.
Articles of interest:
Abuse and the abused: Understanding the journey to safety and health.